January 2012
1 post
point is
you don’t get to where you wanna be in life by sitting passively in the back corner of the room, waiting for graduate schools, job offers, or internships to approach you. while that would be nice, life doesn’t work that way. at times it can be very difficult, very difficult to keep your chin up, especially when it seems as if everyone around you is getting accepted into...
December 2011
1 post
“I don’t know what a love like that feels like… a love to leave loved ones for, a...”
– letters to juliet
November 2011
3 posts
failure.
there’s something about failure that is incredibly motivating. when you find yourself at rock bottom, or close to it, its not a pretty state. but something happens here, something happens here that can’t occur anywhere else. only when you find yourself here do you know what you want. it’s kind of like that coin quote, you know the one.. “When faced with two choices, simply...
it's gonna be okay
I just want to pass this class, graduate, get accepted to a grad school down south, and if we’re being honest, TX. and marry you.
that’s not too much to ask for right?
“i feel like everything is beginning to materialize. it’s a good feeling,...”
October 2011
2 posts
what i want/need
all i want is to just be around you. watching tv, or laying on the couch reading, or just sitting and relaxing i just want to be able to feel what it feels like with you in the room. just us, living.
“i need him”
“you have him”
“yeah but you cant fight what your heart feels. and youre too young to settle....”
September 2011
3 posts
greedy
I’ve said it once, twice, probably about 5 thousand times give or take a hundred I’ve said that I’ll try to not analyze, stress and get so worked up when someone doesn’t say hello, or falls off the earth for a week…two or months. and I’ll say it again. and rather than being upset with myself for falling back into this rut over and over, I’m going to give...
life is funny.
it likes to take you for a ride, without a seat beat down rocky dirt roads. and just when you think you’ve got it all figured you, you find yourself making a u-turn into the unknown. you don’t have it all planned out, because life is always one step ahead, ready to change your plans. you might get to where you’re headed and you might not. but one things for sure, the way you get...
emersed in you
when i think of that moment, my insides don’t know what to do with themselves.
the moment when i finally see you, after all these years. when we hug. what will i do with myself. if the thought is this overwhemingly, i feel like when the time presents itself my need for oxygen will be unimaginable. when so much has happened between us, even in the absence of us. will it come on fast and...
August 2011
1 post
perhaps i am a bit insane. or maybe just in love,...
pensive. that is my current mood. i miss you, like hell.
“oh these times are hard, yea they’re making us crazy, dont give up on me baby”
its kinda perfect yano, in a really imperfect inconvient manner. its like this:
you meet, you think their strange as hell, and why the hell do they keep staring. and then you fall for em real hard, unmistakeably hard.
you stay in touch, see...
July 2011
1 post
lesson learned
don’t plan your life around people.
live your life.
let people come into it as they please.
June 2011
5 posts
sandwich toppings
single is good, for some time. and after some time passes single is lonely. the friday, saturday night fling doesnt suffice, it doesn’t fulfill the empty space on monday afternoon at the library, or tuesday at the zoo. when you are single you are incredibly free, you go and do as you please. you don’t really think, you just act. sometimes it turns out well…other times, not so...
how this one goes
if you want me, you’ll find me
if you dont, guess you don’t deserve me
“said without you i was broken, but id rather be broke down with you by my side” j. johnson
“mom says that sometimes God has some things happen before he brings two people...”
and then theres you
There’s a plane leaving for anywhere you want right now, and in an hour, and in a day, and in a year. You can get out whenever you want.
i like that..
heres my mind at the moment.
what if (yes, the dreaded what if) but what if its all in my head. what if theres nothing there or even worse something but not much. what if you feel this much and they only feel that much. its silly worrying about...
May 2011
3 posts
me
you’ve gotta be you. if you’re a tease then be a tease. if someone else wants to kiss everything and everyone that’s them, and that’s perfectly okay. but if it’s not you then, it’s not you. sounds too simple but it’s the simple things that often mess with us the most. you’ve got to be true to you and furthermore to be okay with it. I can’t just...
“im torn, but not really, no my heart knows, my heart always knows, it always wins”
need>want
i need you in my life. i feel off, like im walking with two left feet. the frustration and stress comes on quicker and lingers longer. im going through the motions but im not feeling them, not experiencing them. its more than a want. you want an ice cream cone when you hear the truck in your neighborhood. you want to go to a ball game get some peanuts and a ht dog. you, i need you. no one pisses...
April 2011
7 posts
salty tears. theyre never sweet
you know that moment right before you cry and all the muscles in your face tense up. its an interesting feeling.
i miss you, im just not sure if you miss me.
am i just someone from the past? MGMT
damn
how can we have feelings that are so strong, so entirely overwhelming that they take over your every cell. heart mind body they’re all connected, but to this degree? its insane. i cant stand it. so much emotion. i have got to see you. ive gotta see you soon. you hear people talking about a craving or a yearning for something but its as if my heart literally aches for you. its dramatic yes....
adventures
h: “I love adventures
t: “me too, with no plan, you just go”
h: “Yes ma’am. I like the way you think”
t: ” and you end up where you end up, for better or worse”
h: “:)”
hmm :) alright
i don’t typically do personal stories at least not directly but the last few days have been pretty good and i think they deserve noting.
a few days ago my friend asked if i wanted to do an IM softball team and i was hesitant, not because i dont love sports or meeting people but for the fact that i honestly hadnt picked up a bat since eh..5th grade the “tazmanian devils” but...
sorry for the bluntness but
I want to JUMP your BONES.
“The very essence of romance is uncertainty.”
– Oscar Wilde
you've
just gotta let it roll off your shoulders.
March 2011
16 posts
“sometimes the right way isnt the easiest, it rarely is”
still
you are the blue in the sky, and the green in the grass. without you its grey, grey like a day in ireland with the rain falling. grey like the the ocean crashing on the rocks. i want you. not anyone else. they dont anything for me, a quick heartbeat but it dies as quickly as it began. youre the water kissing my skin, the grass caressing my shoulders, the sun blinding me. youre it.
year from now
so yea its 365 days away give or take 30. but in approx a year from now ill (maybe) have the next 3ishyears set which scares every bit of me. and i know you cant think like that but ive do. i dont know if ill be in MI, SC, TX, elsewhere. and depending on where i am effects alot of things. because people grow up and dont wait around forever. scared shitless. hopeful nonetheless.
its funny
others company doesnt have anything on your words. so what if i cant get your touch right now, your words are enough, they trump everything, everytime.
“Let Yourself Be Silently Drawn By the Stronger Pull Of That Which You Really...”
– Jalal-al-Din Rumi
“it might not make a difference, but i’ve got to at least try”
LIFE IS GOOD.
my mom said when it rains, it pours. and i always thought of this only as a bad thing, but it can be good too. its nothing or everything. theres no men or twenty men. and while it can make for some pretty sad downs, it always creates some extrodinary highs. and in the down you crave anything, even a flat line but no up or down would be dull, boring, incomplete. without the low, there is no high....
hello march first.
how ive waited for your arrival. 28 long gruesome days.
an unexpected hello, a fun lab, and some crazy happy dancing on the balcony in the sun.
oh unexpected, you are most certainly welcome here.
February 2011
34 posts
leaves and breeze
on my walk to class today i saw a guy climbing a tree, and not just a whimpy climb, no, im talking a full-fledged, legs wrapped around the trunk thrusting his body up toward the sky. at first i wondered why? but then i thought, why not? why not ditch your bike kickstand down, backpack on the cement, maybe we should all climb some trees. or at the very least, let a little adventure in.
“one day i’ll see you walking, and one day we’ll get to talking, and...”
a rude awakening
LISTEN TO YOU HEART. What’s it saying? What’s it trying so desperately to tell you? I mean really listen. It’s saying don’t worry, theres no need to. It says its gonna be great. I really believe its going to work out, and that’s not just wishful hoping or the fact that I want it to, even though I do. But when I sit here and stop worrying for one moment..im at ease, deep down I...
its hard
to write when youve got 8 billion other thigns running through your mind. yes, eight billion, exaggeration? nope. and mingled in those 8 billion is seeing a guy running outside the window, down the street, in the falling snow. and you cant help but wonder where he’s going and hoping he gets there. sincerely hoping. lately i cant stand seeing couples. and i hate that. same spot. new day.